Fuck CapCut

Seriously, what the fuck else do you want?

You probably use CapCut and think your video editing is special. You think your fucking TikTok with 47 transitions and 12 different fonts is going to get you some viral fame. You think loading up every goddamn effect in their library makes your content better. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe what CapCut actually gives you:

• A paywall every time you breathe
• Terms of service that steal your shit
• More "Get Pro" dialogs than a Windows 95 error message
• Features that disappear behind paywalls while you're fucking using them
• Bugs disguised as "premium features"

Well guess what, motherfucker:

You. Are. Getting. Scammed. Look at this shit. It's a fucking video editor. Why the fuck do you need to pay $20/month just to remove a goddamn watermark? You spent hours editing your video and they slap their logo on it like they fucking made it.

The "Get Pro" dialog is everywhere

This motherfucking dialog pops up more than ads on a pirated movie site. Want to add a transition? Get Pro. Want to export without their watermark? Get Pro. Want to use more than 2 fonts? Get fucking Pro, peasant.

Did you seriously think you could edit a video without seeing this dialog 47 times? You click one button and BAM - there it is again, asking for your credit card like a desperate ex asking for money.

Everything costs money now

You dumbass. You thought CapCut was free, but no. Free means they let you open the app. Everything else costs money. Basic shake effect? That'll be $20/month. A decent transition that isn't "fade"? Pay up, motherfucker.

Here's my favorite piece of bullshit: You import an MP3 file - you know, AUDIO - and try to export. "Sorry, can't export because you're using our premium extract audio feature!"

My MP3 was already fucking audio, you absolute morons.

But wait, there's more! If you drag that same MP3 to their media panel first, then to the timeline, it magically works. This isn't a bug, it's a fucking scam disguised as software engineering.

Their Terms of Service are insane

Look at this shit. You upload your content and they basically say "thanks for the free content, we own it now, but if Disney sues anyone, that's your problem."

CapCut's Terms of Service: We get full rights to use, modify, distribute, and monetize everything you upload - permanently and without paying you shit. But you're still responsible if anything goes wrong.

Translation: "We'll make money off your viral video, you handle the lawsuits." Brilliant legal strategy, you fucks.

The editor is actually good

Here's the thing that makes me want to punch my monitor: the actual video editor is fucking good. It's intuitive, powerful, and anyone can figure it out. When it's not begging for money every 30 seconds, it actually works well.

Which makes everything else so much worse. They built something people want to use, then turned it into a digital slot machine. Every click might trigger a payment request.

This is a video editor. Look at it. You've never seen one before.

Like the person who's never used software that doesn't constantly beg for money, you have no fucking idea what a video editor should be. All you've ever seen are predatory apps disguised as creative tools.

A real video editor lets you edit videos. It doesn't steal your content. It doesn't pop up payment dialogs every 5 seconds. It doesn't charge you separately for basic features that should be free.

Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck

I'm not actually saying all video editors should be basic as shit. What I'm saying is that all the problems we have with video editing apps are ones they create themselves. Video editors aren't broken by default - they edit videos, export them, and let you use basic features without constantly begging for money. CapCut breaks them. They turn them into payment processors with video editing as a side feature.

"Good software gets out of your way."
- Some smart motherfucker who definitely wasn't working at CapCut